This Is Happening

Jesus is coming – there is no question.

Or is there?

I am so impatient.  So skeptical.  I doubt all motives, doubt that anything in the world will ever get any better.  Ah, I’m even doubtful that I will have anything worthwhile to say here.

It’s how I am.  Is it how God made me, or how I’ve twisted and warped my view of everything in the world?  I crawl into the rabbit hole of my thoughts and get lost at the first turn.

I think about all the hurt in the world and get sad thinking about suffering and the hopelessness of some situations.  I lose hope that some people – whole populations – will ever get to know Jesus.  Who is out there to show them, to teach them God’s word?  That guy in the mountains of Iraq, hiding out from his enemies, his only possession an old machine gun, always ready to kill.  What are the odds that he will ever come to know Jesus?

I think about the woman who has had yet another miscarriage, and how much she wants a child, thinking her only option is to get pregnant over and over and over, to receive nothing at the end of each ordeal but pain and grief.  How can she come to know Jesus through this heaviness?

We will all be hurt someday.  Someday, our troubles will shadow every aspect of our lives for a period of time.  It makes me feel like I am not ready for a test of faith.  It makes me think that my skeptical nature could win and I will run from God the minute things get hard.  It’s an option for me.  It’s an option for all of us, no matter how strong or faithful we think we might be.  I worry that I will become the next Job.  I don’t want to be Job. 

It bogs me down to think about troubles that I may have.  It clouds Jesus’ light if I allow myself to dwell there.  Just toying with it here makes me sad.  I am disappointing God by having these doubts.  I’ve learned that a degree of doubt can be helpful in growing faith, yet I think I’ve gone too far.

But.

So far, in this period of life, God has not allowed me to dwell in that place for long.  He gave himself in his Word, his Son, and his Spirit, to pull me along and to carry me through when things get hard.   These three things are simpler than the world’s troubles, and they push the doubts from my mind.  These things do not allow doubt to plant itself.

The Holy Spirit gets a workout in dealing with me most days.  It guides me and leads me to places I would never go on my own.  It prompts me to act, to speak, to write, to pray.  God’s word is a comfort to me, a place of peace that I can rest when things threaten my faith.  The old saying that no matter where you open a Bible, it lands on the spot that you most needed to read right then?  I do this often.  God never fails me.  Jesus is my role model and mentor, the prime example of how to do life on earth.  I may get frustrated that I will never be as bold as Jesus and will never perform miracles like him, but that is just empty comparison.  I can be Jesus’ hands, his light, his love.  And in Jesus is the hope of the world’s troubles to end, of eternal life in heaven.

All of these things help me to grow my faith.  All of these things bring me closer to God, our Creator and Father.  They transform me into a person who is trying to live this life more intentionally, whatever that looks like today.  They tell me that eventually truth will win out over doubts.  Someday skepticism will fade completely; the light of God will never again allow its shadow. 

It’s happening for me, and it’s happening for you, too.  For all of us, no matter where we are.

*******

The Angel said to me, “These are dependable and accurate words, every one. The God and Master of the spirits of the prophets sent his Angel to show his servants what must take place, and soon. And tell them, ‘Yes, I’m on my way!’ Blessed be the one who keeps the words of the prophecy of this book.”

“I, Jesus, sent my Angel to testify to these things for the churches. I’m the Root and Branch of David, the Bright Morning Star.”

“Come!” say the Spirit and the Bride.

Whoever hears, echo, “Come!”

Is anyone thirsty? Come!
All who will, come and drink,
Drink freely of the Water of Life!

He who testifies to all these things says it again: “I’m on my way! I’ll be there soon!”

Yes! Come, Master Jesus!

Revelation 22:6-7, 16-17, 20 (The Message)