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Tuesday, March 25, 2014

I Got This

My husband travels for work.  Not only does he travel, he also works in another state, so his time at home is sporadic. 

We’ve fallen into a pattern, gotten used to our roles and the time spent apart.  Technology allows us to check in at any time, and even say hello in person.  We’ve made it work, and while it’s not ideal to be away from your family for any time period, and it’s not always convenient because having children and managing their needs and activities and not always having a partner there to see and touch and talk to in person is hard, and it’s a cruel joke that he calls at only the most inconvenient times every day – hello, world? 4-7 pm?  Just… NO. – it’s okay.  We can each say, about our own schedules and work requirements – I got this.  I can deal with this.  I’ve got a handle on this.

The biggest problem with him being away so much is that he does come home sometimes.  And when he comes home, he messes up the flow of things.  He comes from a place where he is in control of details and outcomes and enters a place where the details and outcomes are already being controlled by a rather fierce person who likes to have things her way. 

And he tries to exercise his control with varying results.

Problems occur because each of us is used to being in charge.  When we are home together, compromises are hard to come by.  He is a stubborn hard-nosed bossy decisive person who likes to be in charge everywhere he goes, and can be domineering.  At home, I push back with equal force.  After all, home is my workplace – I need it to run like I planned or everything falls apart.

Hands off.  I got this.  Move along, please.  I got this.  Leave me alone.  I got this.

Like I said: varying results.

How many times do we say “I got this” to God?  Do we say it outright, or do we just attempt to juggle all the balls until they fall to the ground?  How much do we forget that God is in charge in our daily lives, of every outcome, of the entire universe?  How many times do we have to fail at being in charge before we get it?

God is so in charge.

No matter what we accomplish, what we have planned, what we think we have or want or are working for – God has his hand in it.   If you’re a control freak this is alarming.  Not knowing what is coming is unnerving.  If we are anxious about the unknown we may try to line up our lives so that all the pieces appear to be in place, as if our order is above what God wants for us.  We say: It’s okay, God.  I got this.

The trouble is that we overlook that God wants what is best for us.  We don’t see outside our own constructs to understand God’s goodness and mighty hand in our lives.  We forget about his grace, mercy, and forgiveness.  We ignore his truth and try to organize everything so it’s at our arm’s length instead of handing it over to him.  We miss opportunities to grow closer to him and learn to live like Jesus and be blessed beyond anything we can build for ourselves, beyond anything we can imagine.

His creation, plan, and all the details are made for perfection.  No matter what we may think or ordain, if it’s not aligned with what God wants, our plans will fall apart.  Our results do not vary.  We fail.  Every time.

When we put our trust in God, we can be sure that it is in good hands.  He won’t fail us.

He’s got this.

*******


 By the word of the Lord the heavens were made,
    their starry host by the breath of his mouth.

He gathers the waters of the sea into jars;
    he puts the deep into storehouses.

Let all the earth fear the Lord;
    let all the people of the world revere him.

For he spoke, and it came to be;
    he commanded, and it stood firm.

The Lord foils the plans of the nations;
    he thwarts the purposes of the peoples.

But the plans of the Lord stand firm forever,
    the purposes of his heart through all generations.

Blessed is the nation whose God is the Lord,
    the people he chose for his inheritance.

From heaven the Lord looks down
    and sees all mankind;

from his dwelling place he watches
    all who live on earth—

he who forms the hearts of all,
    who considers everything they do.

Psalm 33:6-15 (NIV)

2 comments:

  1. This is so hard for me (wail). And this is exactly what I'm coming up against right now. I am terrified to let go of the reins, but I clearly don't have control of the horse. sigh.

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    Replies
    1. Me neither! The worst is that I often don't know how tightly I'm holding on until I've made a mess of things.

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