It’s a struggle for me, being a loner. I have alienated people in the past. I don’t spend tons of time with others
because I like having time to recharge, and others might think that I am
aloof. It takes a long time to make
friends because of this. It was tough
when I was young, because the quiet girl almost always gets labeled as
stuck-up.
As an adult, it’s fine. Most adults are busy enough themselves that
they don’t miss my prolonged absence from their lives. But some do.
Family members and good friends, my children and my husband all fall
victim to my “not now” attitude. It
hurts them.
It hurts me too.
Relationships suffer when time together is thwarted by my quest for
isolation. I have spent so much time
trying to get away that I often miss out what is happening during the treasured
time spent together, and my frequent timeouts allow others to drift elsewhere
for more constant companionship.
Recently I have been more aware of how much time I
spend by myself, and how much of that me time is not actually good for me, due
to the many roles I have taken in my current life. I realized that my me time often borders on sin.
Sin pounces when we are not looking. We turn around too late and realize that even
though we haven’t done anything terrible, our behavior has caused hurt in
others. We did not give ourselves to
them. And when we keep ourselves to
ourselves, we do not give anything to God.
God has shown me that I need to spend more time
with others. He has shown me, through
hearing other people’s testimonies, taking the time to have conversations, and finding
extra time to spend with others, that I need to spend more time with people and
less time with me. He has shown me that
by listening to others share their faith, my faith grows. He has shown me that we are not meant to be
alone; the consequences of my neglect pull at my heart.
Each encounter with another person reinforces
this. Each opportunity to spend time
with God’s family of believers enriches my life and builds my faith. Each of God’s words that I read further embed
themselves in my heart when I am doing his will.
God provides us with everything we need, and he has provided me with a family, friends, a community of love. With God’s help, I know I will grow within that community.
Lord, thank you for all your provisions, including the loved ones who
accompany us through life. May we nurture
these relationships with your help and bring us all closer to you. Amen.
*******
This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin. 1 John 1: 5-7 (NIV)
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