“How we live our lives ultimately meets divine
judgment” – I read this today in my daily devotional, and it gave me a little
heart attack.
Am I doing this right? Am I doing enough? I’m not doing enough. I haven’t helped/given/prayed enough. I am the very worst kind of sinner because I’m
totally inadequate OMG I’M GOING TO HELL.
And then I put down my coffee cup.
We all sin.
Some of us were unaware of our sin for longer periods of life than
others. For instance, my friend who
remembers accepting Jesus as her Lord and Savior in her kindergarten Sunday
School class may be more alert and has had more practice defeating her sins
than me, who in my twenties was instigating arguments with Christians only to
scorn them for their beliefs.
Sometimes I feel like I have some catching up to
do.
But we all sin, every day. Not one is worse than the other – God made us
all, and we are all alike in that we all fall short of his intention for us,
individually and as a group.
Then, for some of us, and I hope and pray most of
us, at some point our eyes open and we become aware of God’s hand in our
lives. We see how he has orchestrated
our past to mold our future. We feel the
love he has poured out on us through the sacrifice of his son and the gift of
his spirit. As a result we act more
deliberately and with more intention; this intentional behavior occurs more
regularly and with less effort. Our will
becomes God’s; our lives stick to the path he provided for us.
We become aware that we are building treasure in
heaven with how we conduct our lives.
Over time, our character changes; our feelings align with what is right
instead of only what we want; we feel love that surpasses the love we thought
we knew.
We experience genuine peace in our hearts – what
bothered us before no longer holds its pull on us. We are tempered by the love of Christ, humbled by his
sacrifice, and made gentle. Our hard
edges are softened, our motives purified.
We realize that we are still human, and the old
ways still creep in, but God has our souls, and we are in his hands.
It’s all he really wants for us, for us to
accept his gift. The rest will follow,
no matter how long or short of a time it takes for us to come around. I’m not sure how big my pile of treasure in
heaven is at this point, and I can only guess that it is smaller than the one
my friend has amassed, but that really isn’t for me to know. I do know that I can do better, and I have
done better. I no longer pick fights with people about their beliefs. I am no longer the
young woman with a chip on her shoulder about everything. I am no longer as selfish, no longer as mean,
no longer as careless with others’ feelings.
And I pray for God to change me more, and I pray
for him to change the hearts and lives of my loved ones, friends and family
members who maybe don’t know yet what I know.
God’s love has shown me how wonderful this life can be, even if it is
hard. The greatest feeling I’ve ever known
is that he wants me in heaven. There’s
just something about it that I want everyone to experience.
Because once they have it, they always
will. And we will enjoy our treasure
once we get to heaven, no matter how big or how small.
*******
Since
Jesus went through everything you’re going through and more, learn to think
like him. Think of your sufferings as a weaning from that old sinful habit of
always expecting to get your own way. Then you’ll be able to live out your days
free to pursue what God wants instead of being tyrannized by what you want.
You’ve
already put in your time in that God-ignorant way of life, partying night after
night, a drunken and profligate life. Now it’s time to be done with it for
good. Of course, your old friends don’t understand why you don’t join in with
the old gang anymore. But you don’t have to give an account to them. They’re
the ones who will be called on the carpet—and before God himself.
Listen
to the Message. It was preached to those believers who are now dead, and yet
even though they died (just as all people must), they will still get in on the life that
God has given in Jesus.
Everything
in the world is about to be wrapped up, so take nothing for granted. Stay
wide-awake in prayer. Most of all, love each other as if your life depended on
it. Love makes up for practically anything. Be quick to give a meal to the
hungry, a bed to the homeless—cheerfully. Be generous with the different things
God gave you, passing them around so all get in on it: if words, let it be
God’s words; if help, let it be God’s hearty help. That way, God’s bright
presence will be evident in everything through Jesus, and he’ll get
all the credit as the One mighty in everything—encores to the end of time. Oh,
yes! 1 Peter 4:1-11 (The Message)
We sin because we can't help it, in a way; the propensity for sin is part of our nature as humans. (Thanks, by the way, Adam. Or Eve. Whichever you prefer.) Sometimes I think we are harder on ourselves than God will ever be. He forgives unconditionally; we hold grudges, sometimes against ourselves. Maybe it's because we fear not being "good enough" - for Him, for ourselves, for others - and so we feel obliged to indulge in self-reproach. If we are made in the image and likeness, then we have to strive to be like Him in all things, including forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteHolding grudges against ourselves - that's a good way to look at it. I often fall short of remembering that I am made in God's image, and forget that I am to forgive myself as God has. Thanks for the reminder!
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