When
you are a kid, life is simple, and so are the lessons. Be
nice. Listen to your parents. Make good choices. We learn that being an adult is so
complicated, so difficult. We joke with
our kids never to grow up; being an adult stinks. There are so many responsibilities, so many
choices, so many burdens. They listen,
wide-eyed. We say these things to keep
them from wanting to grow up too soon, to prepare them for what’s to come.
It’s
kind of mean.
I
have never learned so much about life as I have since my kids were born. I grabbed the opportunity to stay home and
raise them, protected fiercely what has become a privilege in our country, to
go without pay simply to be home with my kids as they grow up. It’s allowed me to simplify my life, to see
the world through their eyes without the additional layers of an outside job to
consider.
From
the beginning of their lives, the instructions were simple: Eat. Sleep.
All the love came from me, from my
husband. As they grew, we added: Use nice
words. Use nice touches. Do not hit.
Do not shout. Use your
manners. Say please and thank you. Say you’re sorry.
As
they got older, the rules became more detailed.
They are older children now: they can handle it, they can understand. But the old rules still apply: Use nice
words. Do not hit. Say please and thank you. The essence is the same.
Love
one another. And, love God.
The
“love God” rule came early, in a different way, and for different reasons. We may have relied on Sunday School teachers
too much for this, weren’t consistent with speaking these words at home, didn’t
write them on our doorposts (see Deuteronomy 11:18-21). We didn’t say “Love God” nearly as much as we
said “Do not hit.” But they still got
it.
I
have learned that these simple lessons can be applied to every aspect of life,
even if the details and situations in which we apply them are complex. It can be difficult, particularly in terrible
situations like losing a loved one or when others are unlovable. But we are adults. We can handle it, we can understand. The lessons we learn as kids and teach our own
kids haven’t changed in complexity. They
are still simple: Love God. Love others.
When
I keep these lessons as the focus of how I live, things seem simpler. I believe that I am doing what God wants me
to, what he expects me to. Questions arise,
bumps in the road appear, loved ones are taken and puzzling and tragic events
still happen. But when I focus on loving
God and others, the steps are clearer. Questions
seem much less urgent and my trust and faith take over that God will do what he
promises. The details fall away at times
where they threaten to take over.
Life
is not simple, but the instructions for living are. I believe it’s my job to make the right
choices, to do the right thing, and at times that is very difficult. But the lessons that are the foundation of how
I live are simple, and they are lessons that I learned early, and that I continue
to teach my kids.
Love
God. Love others.
*******
You
shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, and with
all your strength. (NKJV)
So
now I am giving you a new commandment: Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love
each other. John 13:34 (NLT)
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