My
Granddad died on Halloweeen.
I
have a large family, lots of aunts and uncles and cousins and kids, from the
biggest who duck to get through doorways to the littlest at six weeks old. It was a good four days of family, memories,
food, and tears. No one wanted to be
there for that reason, but we amassed as one at the funeral home and at family
members’ houses and hung onto each other in our grief those four days even as
we patted the casket at the gravesite to say good-bye to Granddad one more
time.
It’s
been almost two weeks, and one week since the funeral. For my family, life has gone back to
normal. Our kids still have school, my
husband and I still have work to do. We
live far from my family, so Granddad’s loss is not as first-hand, his absence relegated
to quiet moments where we stop and think: he’s
gone.
For
my grandmother, who shared his life intimately, loss is felt every minute,
every second. Everyday activities are
disturbed. There is a new normal for her
to learn. Same with those who live close
by, who are an everyday part of my grandparents’ lives. Their new normal looks quite a bit different
than mine, which is just slightly changed to reflect the hole in my history,
the memories that come more often now because that’s all I have left of his
life and I want him to stay close. But all
that goes on inside, where no one sees.
In
my Bible I keep several pages from a daily devotional book that I receive each
month; topics that stand out are carefully torn out and stashed between the
pages. Many of them deal with loss. I find it meaningful that of all the pages I
chose to stick in my Bible, the ones that speak of death and of God’s provision
of comfort and peace during hard times are here for me. I know this is God’s doing.
The
world may not see me remember my Granddad and mourn his loss, but God
does. He comforts me through these pages
just as he comforts the rest of my family members with whatever they need to
feel at peace with the loss. He reminds
me that he is there as I make dinner, schedule doctor appointments, run kids to
their activities. He reminds me that he experiences
my grief, too, and that Granddad is with him in heaven.
God
provides for all of us in so many ways that we may not see or recognize, but as
I open my Bible to those pages, I see his hand in even the smallest and the
most innocuous places.
He
did this wonderful thing for me. He does wonderful things for all of us.
*******
Precious in the sight of the Lord is the death of his saints. Psalm 116:15 (NKJV)
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NKJV)
But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)
But thanks be to God, who gives us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. 1 Corinthians 15:57 (NKJV)
But those who wait on the Lord will find new strength. They will fly high like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint. Isaiah 40:31 (NLT)
I am grateful we have a God who is into the details. Who reaches down to give us comfort in our hurting hearts. xoxo to you.
ReplyDeleteThank you, Anna. I'm grateful for the same things. You said it so beautifully. xo
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