When we moved to our current town we knew no one. It didn’t matter much; my husband and I were
both working full-time and in the process of selling one house and buying
another, and I was well into pregnancy.
Life was busy, and we worked at building our life block by block.
Eventually all the pieces fell into place and we put down
roots. We found doctors and mechanics and
favorite restaurants, spent a lot of time working on the house, shook hands
with neighbors before asking them to help us move furniture, and socialized with my husband’s work colleagues. As a
new mom who worked from home I spent my days wrangling a baby while trying to
work during naptime.
I don’t remember being lonely.
We were busy enjoying the little life we had made.
Eventually life found its groove, that hum that comes from doing
something for enough time that things just fall into line as you go along. We decided to find a church. We weren’t church-goers during that time,
opting in only for major holidays – it wasn’t a priority. But we each had grown up going to church and
something told us that our kids needed to, too.
Plus, church was a great place to meet people and make friends.
As we church-shopped and found our home, we started looking into
faces of the people around us. This was
our new family, the people we would be spending this part of our lives
with. We didn’t have family members
close by; we needed to connect with the people right here.
An ad in the bulletin and a stint in the nursery one Sunday
morning led me to a mom’s ministry meeting around the time that I discovered
days and nights with a baby and work-logged husband were more than I could
handle. I needed a break. I needed out.
I needed girlfriends.
And I found them.
We shared so much around the table during those monthly meetings:
from tips on how to get babies to sleep all night and potty training ideas and
the best parks to take your children to relationship issues with spouses and
parents and everything in between. We
shared more during those meetings than I had in years with other women. The floodgates opened and each month we
unloaded our hearts over cups of lemonade and pans of brownies. There were stories and tears and so much
laughter.
Over time I practically ran out the door of our house to sit at
that table.
Some relationships blossom and others fade; I am fortunate to
maintain a few strong ones that began during those meetings. I am immensely grateful for them; they have
become my family, aunts and uncles to my kids, people we spend birthdays and
holidays and vacations with.
I am just as grateful for the acquaintances I made during that
time. No longer together during monthly
meetings, we still pass each other in church and in the community and smile; I
remember the faces in the crowd as the faces around that table. They are older and wiser, maybe not as
needing of the shared time now as much as then.
Maybe they have gone off to nurture their own strong bonds with each
other.
Those connections were vital to me, to our family, to our
life. I learned so much about motherhood
during that time, but also marriage and being a daughter, sister, friend, and
Christian. I learned from these other women
how to grow in my faith and as a person in general. I found God, and myself, in those meetings.
When people ask when God has helped you through a rough part of
life, I think of how he put these women in my life at this particular
time. When I needed to learn about being
a mom, wife, friend, and Christian, he put these women right in my path. More than that, he put the desire in my heart
for their company. Just at the moment
when I needed friends, he provided them.
Friendships are mysterious relationships; we never know who will
be in our lives for the long haul upon first meeting. We can connect with others on a deep level quickly, but that initial spark might be a flame that burns fast and
dies down just as quickly. These
relationships are no less important to God – after all, he gave them to us just
as he gave us our greatest relationship with Jesus. Knowing this, those past
relationships are not any less important to me, either. I still love those women with whom I might
not be as close with; they occupy a space in my heart that God made just for
them. They were with me during a great
growing part of my life.
For all of these friends, I am grateful.
It so true. My church friends have become my lifeline through so many seasons. I'm pretty sure that God, specifically through them, have saved my marriage, my sanity and my quite possibly my life more times that I even realize. I too am grateful. Thanks for bringing that back to my mind and heart and reminding me to whisper a "thank you" for them again!
ReplyDeleteThis tugs at my heart. I am so grateful for all of my friends - yes - but grateful that I also had/have friends to share my faith with. Both kinds serve a beautiful purpose.
ReplyDeleteI've been going through a change in some of my friendships lately, and it has been hard to feel people who were once a big part of my life slipping away. This was a beautiful reminder that sometimes people are in your life for a season, and when that season comes to an end, new people come. But that doesn't mean the old friends are less important, just in a different place. God brings us the people we need when we need them. And I needed you to remind me of that today. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you have had those special friendships to support you through the different seasons of your life.