I’ll never forget that first back-to-school night as a middle school
parent. The night crackled with the
positive outlook that all teachers have at the beginning of a school year. I was nervous and excited to hear about the
next phase of education for my child. I
was ready to absorb all I needed to help him navigate
new challenges and experiences that are emblematic of the in-between
years. It was a clean slate, and I
wondered what these educators could teach me as they taught my kid.
The details of the meeting focused on curriculum and new freedoms
that our students would enjoy, both items that I expected. But one thing stood out. As the principal gave his speech, he said
something that will forever stick in my brain:
“Although we are teachers by profession, we only have your
children 29% of an entire calendar year.
The rest of their time spent learning is with YOU, the parents.”
That means that for 71% of my children’s life, it is up to me to
teach them. Math and Language Arts and
Social Studies are subjects taught at school, but they are only a small
fraction of what they must learn.
I am their primary teacher.
Often parents talk about having teachable moments with their kids. We are equal parts amused and thankful for
the opportunity to live through something with our children instead of having
to lecture them about it. Teachable moments may be times where we catch our
child doing something right or wrong, and we take the time to emphasize what
that experience means within the framework of a life. We teach our kids to share, help, and work
through experience and our own example.
We hope that they learn and apply the lesson when we aren’t looking.
What we overlook is that most moments are teachable.
It’s the teachable moment that isn’t scripted that truly reveals
our character. The one that happens when
our guard is down and we don’t notice who is watching. We know that when we volunteer our time
helping others, treat others with kindness and respect, and work hard, we are
teaching. But it goes further. Every second that our kids are with us, they
are learning how to treat people, how to assert themselves, how to be in a
relationship, how to work hard to attain goals, how to be brave, how to care
for others. Our kids hear and see
everything we do.
They also see us when we gossip, lie, and judge others, lash out in
anger, keep secrets, and waste time. We might
not intend to teach them these less-than-stellar behaviors, but the effects of
these behaviors are strong. It’s
important to know that however we live our lives, we are teaching our kids how
to live theirs.
I have to say that I worry about these subversive teachable
moments that I am giving my children, the ones that show them my dark side
without realizing that it is showing. My
character is not unmarred; there are cracks in the surface and pieces that are missing, exposing the deeper parts. I see the ugly
parts of me in the behaviors of my children, and it is regrettable.
Luckily for them – and me – we have a better role model in Jesus. Jesus’ example is always stellar,
and he doesn’t shy away from teaching his true character. There is no dark underbelly to his makeup;
his lessons are all worthy of following.
Each moment of his life is teachable.
The hard part is adapting his lessons to our lives in this world.
But we can. With the tools
that God gives us through his word and the spiritual gifts that he provides
within our own personalities and abilities, we can be a better role model and
better teacher to our kids. And everyone around us.
Each of us is capable – and called – to use the gifts that God has
given us, and follow the lead of Jesus to show our children and strangers the
lessons of life. We don’t need to spotlight
the teachable moment, the lengthy lecture that induces judgment, shame and
boredom. We can just live our lives –
with humility and love, integrity and kindness.
If we follow Jesus’ lead, and make his teachable moments our own, our
example will influence not only our children, but others around us as well.
*******
Do everything without
complaining and arguing, so that no one can criticize you. Live clean,
innocent lives as children of God, shining like bright lights in a world full
of crooked and perverse people. Philippians 12:14-15
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