The
world has many rules for love. They trickle into our relationships, settle into
our ways of thinking, influence our behavior, and can even twist and warp pure
love into something interpersonally dysfunctional and personally harmful. We
have all fallen into this trap of what the world tells us about love, and
sometimes we spend our lives grasping at and clinging to an idea of love that
isn’t love at all. We run in circles to conform to an ever-changing version of
love that we are told matters the most today, and exhaust our emotions and our
time and mental capacity trying to achieve what everyone else says is true
love. #relationshipgoals
True
love isn’t finding a soul mate or still holding hands after fifty years of
marriage. It isn’t celebrating every milestone or giving gifts. It isn’t
meeting expectations or accepting every behavior. These are just actions.
When
love becomes a series of actions or rules or goals, we are chasing a dream
instead of the real thing. We are dissatisfied when real love comes our way, and
we miss it. Sometimes we’ve been convinced that there’s something about us that
makes us unworthy of love, which is an even more sinister lie.
We
have lost sight of what love is at its core.
God
is love. And all love is from God.
Love
is without fear, punishment, or condition. It is kind and strong. It is free
and pure and can grow and blossom even in unlikely situations or relationships.
It is found between friends and relatives and spouses and strangers. It is the
peace that comes from knowing that you love and are loved. It is neither a
checklist nor a set of goals to be met. Love can wait. If it is from God, it is
on his timeline. No personal goals or demands from others set its pace or
timeframe. It can’t be imposed, and it can’t be rushed.
Each
of us has to figure this out on our own; the world ensnares all of us in its
weird versions of love early and often, and tells us that we make our own rules
about love. Eventually we emerge from the trap and can finally learn what love
really is.
Love
is the example of Jesus – his sacrifice, but also his life.
We
can receive it and pass it on. And we can live in it, if we choose.
Dear God, everything in
this world is so difficult. I am grateful that you have provided love to show
us the goodness you intend and have made for us to receive. Thank you, Amen.
*******
Dear
friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God.
Everyone
who loves has been born of God and knows God.
1 John
4:7
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