I
saw him on the road most nights after work. He stood at the end of the
off-highway ramp that was my exit for home. He leaned against the stop sign,
holding a raggedy piece of cardboard with the words “Please help”.
When
I first saw the man, dirty and leathery from spending his days unprotected in the
hot sun, I felt a pang of sadness and even a little guilt for not stopping to
help. I was in my early twenties after all, not able to spare much that could
make a difference, and I was scared too, afraid of what a desperate stranger on
the side of the road might do to a naïve young woman who opened her window and
reached out her hand. I avoided eye contact and after taking that way home and
seeing him many times, like so many other commuters, I ignored the man and his
message.
One
evening after an early dinner with a friend, I exited for home and, my courage
buoyed by the presence of my friend in the car, hit the open window button and
reached out to the man who still stood there in the fading daylight. He
approached the car, and, seeing the container of food that I offered to him
from our meal, waved us away disgustedly. Embarrassment and shame
rippled through me – I had money to buy my dinner, why couldn’t I have given
him some cash? How arrogant of me to expect that he would lap up my leftovers!
I could have bought him a whole dinner of his own, even. But he didn’t even say
no thanks.
My
friend and I talked about him on the way home. Beggars can’t be choosers, we agreed
callously. How rude was he, not even bothering to speak to us? Probably a drug
addict, only interested in money for his next fix. He probably had a house
somewhere, part of a crew of panhandlers on the highway who made their living
taking money from chumps. From that moment on I ignored him when I saw him on the exit ramp, but the
interaction still bothered me.
Years
later, my husband, who travels for work, experienced a period in his life when people
came up to him at different places – airports, usually – and asked for money.
Money to help for a specific urgent need was the usual request. We talked about
the coincidence of him being singled out by random people. Did you give them
anything? I’d ask. He did. The people had good reasons for needing the cash.
But my husband said that he sort of felt like he had been duped every time and
that he wished he knew that they were using the money for the purpose he gave
it.
In
the Bible we are reminded that God loves widows and orphans, and takes care of
those who live among us and who have no family of their own (Deuteronomy
10:18). He commands us to live generously as well, not being grudging with our
giving, but give freely as God has freely given to us (Deuteronomy 15:10-11, Luke
6:30, 1 Corinthians 2:12).
It
does not say in the Bible “Give freely, but only if the person is grateful and only
if they really need it.”
When
we give, we are not asked to judge the recipient of our generosity, nor called
to put expectations on those to whom we give. We don’t give a birthday gift to
a friend and ask them later if they are using it. Our involvement ends the moment
the gift is in their hands; we don’t have control over how others use what they
are given. If we worry about how a person is using something we’ve given to them,
then our hearts weren’t in the right place when we gave the gift anyway. If
they misuse the gift, that’s their problem to work through with God.
God
could say the same about me. How many gifts have I received from him that I
take for granted, refuse to thank him for, see as a burden, ignore, manipulate
or squander?
Plenty.
God
calls us to give freely as he has given to us. That’s all. It’s freeing to live
life in the simple ways he asks us to live. If we can put aside our own encumbrances
like expecting thanks or being recognized for a good deed or even knowing that
our gift is used well, we can be at peace knowing that we are living the life
we are meant to live. The person we help might not thank us, but we
are asked to help anyway. This reminder is important for all of us to keep in
mind when we give help, time, or resources. The recipient may not receive in
the way we expect, but we have done what we were called to do.
And
that is enough.
*******
Give generously to the
poor, not grudgingly, for the Lord your God will bless you in
everything you do. Deuteronomy 15:10 (NLT)
Give to anyone who asks;
and when things are taken away from you, don’t try to get them back. Luke 6:30 (NLT)
What we have received is
not the spirit of the world, but the Spirit who is from God,
so that we may
understand what God has freely given us. 1 Corinthians 2:12 (NIV)
Andrea, your post shared many of the thoughts that may run through my mind when I give to those on the street. My husband and I have a tough time driving by anyone in need. As we drive by, we look at one another as my husband begins to turn the truck around. We decided a long time ago that we would give as God called us to give and allow God to do the rest (whatever that maybe).
ReplyDeleteAll the best,
Robin
That's so touching, Robin. Thank you for sharing. I wondered if anyone gave to those asking for change anymore. I guess there are still some who do! xo
DeleteI have a bit of a different perspective, it's just a thought! First of all, whatever the money is used for you'll be blessed for your kind, generous heart. So it doesn't matter either way what you do- God sees your goodwill. On the other hand, I spent a significant amount of time around drug users, slums and NYC (Which is full of beggars). I used to give freely to all who asked. But don't also forget about the woman with her perfume. Jesus said there will always be poor people for us to give to and that woman would be blessed because she gave her best to Him. I'm not saying don't give to the homeless. I'm only saying, if it makes you uncomfortable, save the best for Jesus and give it to Him. It's not a judgement to say they're going to use the money for drugs. 99% of them will. They're also mentally ill, come from bad homes and they've likely been abused. Money isn't what they need, they need Jesus. I always do a"pray test" now. If I feel Jesus wants me to give them money I will and I'll throw a "God bless you" in there lol but for the most part, I'd rather give to organizations that go out in the streets with warm clothes, who run the shelters and to churches who support the homeless. Anyway! Just my two cents :)
ReplyDeleteI appreciate your perspective, Leah! It's hard to cover all the bases in a blog post, so I like that you added that God sees our hearts when we give and that we should always give him our best, whether it's to someone else or not. Your pray test is a great idea! Thanks for being here. :)
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